My hook, Smee!

After discussing recent current events with a coworker, I realized something. If I ever lost a hand in some sort of tragic event, I wouldn’t want it replaced. Well, not in the traditional sense. If I happen to lose my hand while defending small children from an ax wielding maniac I want them to replace it with a hook. Not a prosthetic hook, but a fancy Captain James Hook hook. I want them to carry it out on a pillow chanting, “Hook, Hook, give us the hook!” Every time someone asks me about where I lost my hand, I would regale them with my heroic tale. Then, when I got tired of telling that story I would make up a new one. I mean, who’s going to argue with a lady with a hook. I might even decide to ask for all those nifty attachments that Captain Hook has on Jake and the Neverland Pirates. I’m most definitely sure that I would get plenty of use out of a helicopter hook.